Hey everyone! 🙂
Before I begin with my usual monthly update post, I would like to take a moment to review 2014.
This year has been a rollercoaster for me in every way!
I am beginning to understand that this year has changed me in ways so I can never go back to the person I was before. And that’s actually a good thing! I wasn’t myself for a lot of years, but I know that I am getting there…
April has always been an awful month to me. It’s the month that my PTSD tortures me the most.
But this April, two of my books got published and that, my friends, is a dream come true!
So, April was both a great and an awful month this year for me. Lol.
With the publication of books come some things I wasn’t fully prepared for.
Or maybe I should say, I wasn’t prepared for it at all! Lol!
Because of all that I have been through (jeez, that actually sounds kinda sad. I don’t mean it like that!) I have built some walls around myself. To defend and protect against more pain and suffering. Now, that isn’t that bad because it keeps you alive and helps you struggle through.
But after some time, those walls are so high and thick, they’re almost impossible to break down.
And when they break down, they don’t do this quietly…
My walls started to crumble ever since I started writing on this blog. But this last year, they fell more rapidly.
I was forced out of my comfort zone a lot of times this year. Like with the signing sessions for example. Speaking to people I don’t know. People taking pictures of me and wanting to shake my hand. I don’t like to be touched by strangers at all!
Or with the award I won for my Dutch fantasy novel. Being on stage, all eyes on me.
Those are the things that actually make me shiver!
Besides this, I learn more and more how to show my feelings. Not just through my writings, but also with my friends and family. This takes some real courage for me, because I am used to keep it all inside and always pretend to be ‘Fine’.
Telling someone that you are in fact not always ‘Fine’ or tell someone you miss or love them… Horror!!! But I do it. Even when it scares me to death, I do it.
The reason I decided to break down the walls (yes, this is in fact a decision you have to make) is because I want to grow. And I want to be me. The real me. I want to make my dreams come true. Life is too short to be trapped behind walls.
Yes, it’s a risk to take down those walls and let your true feelings show.
But I am starting to realize that it doesn’t matter. Even with the walls up, I still got hurt sometimes. So why not give it my all and enjoy life as much as I can?
And now, if I get hurt in the progress… I know I can take it. I survived worse and it only makes me stronger.
And so I will Love and Care and Show who I am! I will leave my comfort zone more and more. But gradually. I need time to adjust lol. 😉
So, don’t be scared my friends! Break out off your comfort zone and make 2015 the most magical year yet!
Anyways, on to my goals for this month!
- Take some time to relax. (no, really lol)
- Work on the final version of my second fantasy novel
- Prepare a book trailer for my fantasy novel
- Make a poetry clip
2015 has begun guys! Let it be awesome!
Lots of Love,
Patty
It has been a true honour to simply watch from the sidelines as you’ve blossomed more and more throughout the last few months that I have been following you. I have come to love your poetry, your prose, and your artwork, as well as the guests you have introduced us to, and the great music with which you have tickled our ears. Everything about your site has been a pleasure to share, and I look forward to enjoying it much more with you in 2015.
Thank you so much for those uplifting words my friend! 🙂
Love & Hugz ❤
I agree. A outstanding blog.
Thank you! 🙂
Hugz & Love ❤
What a wonderful and positive post Patty. It feels so life confirming to read your post. Welcome back to life Patty and it is a great idea to do something positive and worth the hard work in April, so you get exchanged your feelings about April month.
Wish you a wonderful new year 😀
Thank you Irene! 🙂
Wishing you a magical 2015!
Hugz & Love ❤
The positivity of your post is inspiring. I congratulate you for all that you have achieved and wish you a great time ahead. Happy New year, dear friend. 🙂
Thank you my friend! 🙂
Wishing you an amazing 2015!
Hugz & Love ❤
You are amazing 🙂
Well, thank you Marty! 🙂
Don’t know about that but I sure am trying to be the best I can be.
Have a magical 2015!
Lots of Love,
Patty
My dear Patty, I am glad you have decided to step out of your comfort zone and break down those walls. 2015 is going to be a great year, and I’m glad we are going to walk through it together. Lots of love. Big hugs.
Thank you Michelle! 🙂
Yes, it was a good year to my surprise!
Here’s to an even better 2015!
Hugz & Love ❤
Amazing! And so much respect to you for the choice to be brave, it takes so much but is SO worth it 🙂 May this year bring you as much growth and happiness
Thank you so much! 🙂
It’s not easy, but it’s worth it for sure.
Have a magical 2015!
Hugz & Love ❤
Last year sounds like it was awesome for you. Since I didn’t know you before, all I know is this wonderful honest woman who writes and loves dragons (a little!).
Speaking of your fantasy novel (congrads on the award if I missed it), when is it going to be in English for us lazy folk who don’t want to learn another language? Short on funds so I missed buying your poetry books. The desire was there, even the consideration of allocating funds. I will though!
Love you, love your writing, and love your spirit.
Peace & Love
Thank you my dear friend! 🙂
Wishing you an awesome 2015 as well!
We are currently working on how to get it translated in English and the American market.
As soon as I know more, I will let you know! 🙂
Hugz & Love ❤
Patty, Quite a personal statement…..& still amazing to hear even for those of us who have followed you as it all unfolded! What you are saying, Patty, is that you are growing from all these experiences. And what you say about forcing yourself to do things you hesitated to do or never would have imagined doing are very normal, human feelings. Those that have “become more in life” can identify with pushing themselves to do it!!! All in all, it sounds very positive, Patty, for a grander 2015!!! Phil
Thank you my dear friend! 🙂
O, yes! Pushing myself is what I am good at lol!
Hugz & Love ❤
I’m with you 200% baby sister. ❤
Thank you much Lisa! 🙂
Hugz & tons of love to you ❤
❤
Reblogged this on John Oliver Mason and commented:
I’m going through some serious life changes, and they are scary, but you have to go through them in order to grow as a person.
Thank you for reblogging John.
And yes, changes are scary. But you will fight through!
Hugz & Love ❤
Whishing you a very Happy New year, May your Blessings Be Many and your woes be few, and your desires come to you. .
Love this, open and honest, piece, I’m so Happy for you. Please keep up your fantastic writings,.
Thank you so much! 🙂
I will try for sure.
Wishing you and your loved ones a magical 2015!
Hugz & Love ❤
The fact that you published best during the month that you feel the most stress? shows how strong you are! cheers to that 🙂
Thank you Andy! 🙂
I do think it has more to do with my stubbornness lol! 😉
Hugz & Love ❤
That’s okay too XD
Thank you for sharing these wonderful words! May you and your family’s lives be fulfilled with many blessings, unconditional love, peace, joy, prosperity, cuddles, friendships, and all your heart’s desire this new year!
Namaste,
Lady Virtue
Thank you so much! 🙂
Wishing you an amazing 2015!
Hugz & Love ❤
All the best for 2015,
hugs and love Patty
Thank you Bernie! 🙂
Have an awesome 2015 my friend!
Hugz & Love ❤
You have achieved more in 2014 than most people have in a lifetime Patty – be proud of yourself for that, then get working on doing MORE in 2015 (no pressure, just saying) 😀
Hahaha! Thank you Chris! 🙂
And I will. Always reaching higher!
Have an awesome 2015!
Hugz & Love ❤
Reblogged this on Ta hendene til din kjære – se på dem og hold dem hardt Disse hendene skal du følge, leie og lede. Du skal få føle på varmen fra dem og kjenne en inderlig glede. De skal stryke deg og de skal holde rundt deg – de er ikke skapt for å såre i vrede For du skal ikke alene mer vandre. De skal klemme og kose og aldri klandre De skal skjerme deg for det du ikke selv ser. De skal elske og aldri forakte – bare hjelpe når du ber. Disse hendene skal jobbe for at dere skal få det godt De skal gi – og du skal takke for det du har fått. De skal tvinnes sammen i kjærlighet og være ømme og gode og et tegn på inderlighet Hendene du holder er sterke og unge De skal gjennom mye for din skyld når dagene er tunge De skal stryke og klemme og være gode og fromme De skal ruske i ditt hår og takke når dagen er omme Disse hendene skal følge deg gjennom livet. De skal holde fast ved deg og verne om samlivet De skal være hos deg når alle andre har gått De skal aldri slippe men holde fast og tørke tårer når du har grått. Hendene skal bære din ring med rette Den skal skinne og for alle berette Jeg elsker deg! – kan den bekjenne Det er bare en som har maken til denne En dag er hendene blitt ru og grå Hver fure og rynke forteller om livet som bak dere lå Dere kan minnes den dagen i dag – da et livslangt bånd Ble knyttet Og fra denne dag dere gikk Hånd i hånd..