41 comments on “Bullying: My story (*Warning!* Contains triggers!)

  1. i’m sorry for this sweetheart.i can relate to many things you said and yes, the abuse never goes away.i still have triggers that i don’t even notice until it’s too late and i am insecure as hell. i’m glad that at least i know someone went through very similar things i went through, and we are both here today! i never thought i’d be alive still, but miracles happen. have a blessed evening!

    • Thank you so much Ana.
      I am sorry that you had to go through it as well.
      But yes, we are survivors! We are warriors! And still battling.
      Stay strong.
      Lots of love❤

  2. Dearest Patty,

    I am so sorry you experienced this and that no one saw or heard or did anything to stop it. So many kids are tormented that schools are more like torture chambers rather than places of education. When you are victim, you can become a survivor then a fighter/protector in some manner. Some get stalled at the victim stage and cannot move beyond it. I applaud you for your strength and fortitude to survive and to share your story with others to educate others the horrors kids are enduring while trying to grow up in a world where their voice is not important. The laws should be harsher in seeing these incidents as aggravated assaults, character defamation, and mental abuse. Bullying is so inaccurate it is criminal. If Children were tax payers they would have a voice but no one listens to children so they will always be victims.

    Children often feel obligated to protect their families and not cause problems especially if the family is already plagued with issues. I am so sorry about the loss of your brother. You are a survivor who will always be a fighter in some way because you become hardwired to fight no matter what. You see an injustice or someone being hurt and you have to jump in and defend even if it means you are going to bear negative consequences.

    I was anything but “normal” in school so I understand your pain. Blessings to you my dear. You have survived hell and now must thrive after surviving! The best revenge against those who wished us harm is to be happy and successful! Blessing to you.

    • Thank you so much for your kind words Tina.
      It’s true, children often don’t have a voice so we have to be theirs.
      Surviving is a good way of describing it, as it takes lives every year.
      We had a show on tv here in Holland for a while. They gave the victims of bullying a hidden camera and showed what they were really going through. The footage was shown to the whole class to confront them with their actions. (images blurred of course) It worked great. But they decided that the privacy of the bullies was somehow more important than the suffering of the victims, so they stopped the show. Those kind of things make me angry! Finally they listen, finally they do something about it and then they stop it again because it’s ‘not fair’ for the ones who create a living hell for others. It’s a strange world we live in…
      Lots of love❤

      • Hi Patty,

        It is definitely a survival situation. I live in the United States and it is no different here. It is absolutely criminal. I had a nightmarish situation throughout my schooling and there was no safe place at home either. It was very difficult.

        I was a high school teacher for a time and I loved teaching and my students. There was never any torment of students when I was around. Everyone knew I would not tolerate it but I was one woman. The situation is quite sickening and then we have damaged adults within society and many do not become functional within society. We have all kinds of anti-bullying programs within our education system but it is not making a big enough dent because the entire mindset of society must change.

        It is so sad that children, our future, are so disregarded until they become assets or major problems. Its like closing the barn door after all the horses have run away and expect everything to be okay. We must just keep being a voice for the kiddos and others who cannot defend themselves. You have a good heart and compassionate spirit that can only be borne of great suffering. I am so sorry that you have experienced such profound suffering. It just goes to show that it matters not where you live, there is a huge problem when child protection is not put at the forefront of society’s priorities.

        Blessings and peace upon you Patty. I will hold you in my prayers.

      • Thank you so much Tina!
        I have been a teacher for years before I became a writer. Always kept my eye out for my students too. I am also schooled in Social Skill Training for children. That way, I could help the ones that drowned in the crowd.
        And you are right, lots of programs but not enough results. A program is just a program, when it’s over, it’s done. But this is never done. People have to realize that one program for a couple of weeks will only make a difference for a couple of weeks. I had a zero toleration in my classes for bullying. Kids understood and respected that. But it isn’t enough until all educators, parents and trainers have this policy.

        And thank you so much for your kind thoughts. I really appreciate it very much.
        Love & Hugz❤

      • I, too, went on for more training and ended up with an advanced degree in general human services with a concentrated study in childhood sexual abuse and violent sexual predators and was a therapist for some time. One person is not enough but with each voice of a survivor/thriver that is heard it will serve as a guiding light to those who believe they cannot take one more step, It is so wonderful that you are a teacher as change needs to come on the front lines. As you well know, a victim of bullying needs only a single light in the darkness in order to survive and you are that light to so many. Blessings upon you!

  3. Patty, You are just such an example of strength and character. It could be nothing but terribly hard to tell this story here, and for that I applaud you loudly. I admire your strong will then and now. You seem to be an amazing person. NEVER forget that.

    John

  4. As someone who was also bullied badly in school I feel a strong connection to your story, and feel terrible that these things happen. Thanks for sharing and standing up to bullying. Lots of love back at you, Patty.

  5. wow!!! wow!!! I am lost with words.

    I feel your pain…I feel your broken soul….I feel your every sadness that comes from your eyes.

    This blog really hit me and give me flash backs as well.
    You’ve made me see that I am worth it and that I am worth being in this world.
    Sometimes though, I want to take my own life…but I know my girlfriend is there for me to heal me and listen to me.

    I’m so sorry for what you went through…I am also here for you if you need a friend to talk to.

    I can’t imagine what those pathetic-scums did to you…it makes me angry and pissed off.

    P.S Head over to my blog. I posted my anti-bully awareness blog. It tells my true story and what I went through. We both share the same pain and histories past.

    • Thank you for your kind words Charlie.
      I am so sorry for the flashbacks, they suck😦
      Yes, you are definitely worth it! So glad that you have someone who loves you and heals you. Partners are very important for the healing process.
      They can make us feel loved and worthy of life!
      I understand your thoughts though. But remember that you are a warrior! Never give up!
      And those guys will get what they deserve someday. I believe in that.
      Gonna read your post right now.
      Lots of love,
      Patty

  6. I’m sorry you had to go through all of this, and I’m glad you have the courage to speak your hardest experiences, for the sake of no one allowing such incidents to happen. I hope parents and teachers would consider this topic really seriously and not belittle it.
    Thanks for sharing, Patty.

  7. My heart is with you, Lil Sis!! I’m holding yours in my hands, protecting it. Sending you healing light and energy …. to make you stronger. You matter, you have a heart of gold … I’ve seen it, I’m holding it. Now I want to protect YOU!!!

    Your “older sister” is here for you ….. FFL!! ❤❤ ….

  8. Oh wow Patty this is powerful! I have shared my issues with bullying before and have experienced it here on WP as well, I am also a fighter for the underdog or when I see someone treated unfairly. I appreciate you sharing your story because people do need to know that this is something that follows you through life and breaking that cycle is nearly impossible because it is so deep seeded. I must admit that even today I am tempted let it go but taking a stand is something you have to do.
    I love this. You always post the most amazing posts!😀 Hugs and love to you sweet friend.❤

  9. Patty, I know this was hard for you to write. I have no doubt, and will share mine with you via email, as it is long, and the comments is not a place to share mine. I have never said anyone deserved bullying, nor have I ever downgraded the experience they are sharing. When I worked with a teenage girl who was in a psychiatric institution, she was experiencing bullying. I told her to make sure she informed the aides and nurses, but then also showed her ways to protect herself without the nurses seeing what I was doing. With all the other crap she had to deal with, I never devalued her fears or experiences. Yeah, there are probably things she could have done to try and fit in, but in my experience of working with youth, a kid can be just a beautiful as all the bullies (or prettier) and they will always find a reason, there is always a weakness if they poke enough.

    I hope you took a deep breath and cuddled to Danny after writing this.

    Peace & Love

    • Thank you my friend.
      I have found your email and will read it tomorrow.
      And yes, I am very blessed with my hubby. He knows how to deal with me lol.
      Love & Hugz❤

  10. Thank you people need to know how bullying affects people. The lasting traumas, and that it’s often well-hidden from non-participants. My parents thought it was just me adjusting to a new school year , but I had an acid stomach and stress-induced asthma attacks for the first two weeks, until I learned who the bullies were, how to stay away, and where to hide from them. And even that didn’t always work. I’m glad you’re a survivor and I admire your courage to speak up.

    • Thank you Michael.
      It’s often a very well hidden secret indeed.
      But it’s very much needed to speak up. Bullying, abuse, it has to stop because it can destroy lives.
      I am sorry to hear that you had to go through bullying as well.
      Lots of love,
      Patty

  11. Pingback: Bullying: My story (*Warning!* Contains triggers!) | Digital Gatherings

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