A letter to a friend. A letter that I will never send.
Something different today… follow the links to listen to the songs.
Music has a way of explaining my feelings when I am unable.
Dear Friend,
Can I still call you that? Or are you just Somebody that I used to know now?
I don’t know what changed between us, but I don’t like it.
This is taking too long and I want to know what’s going on. It’s been almost 2 years now.
Suddenly, you disappeared out of my life. No reasons were given.
But In the End, it doesn’t really matter. I lost you anyway.
But now I wonder…
Did I do something wrong? Did something happened without me noticing? What did I missed?
I tried to be a good friend, always there when you needed me, no matter how I felt or what I was going through.
Fun to hang out with and talk to (I think), certainly honest and loyal.
Was it not good enough? Who knew that you would turn your back on me?
The thing is, I remember you saying that you would be my friend forever. Well, I guess forever isn’t quite that long huh?
I did thought I was worth more to you. At least worthy enough to get an explanation.
Maybe I trusted the wrong person, or was I the only one that meant it when the words ‘I love you’ were spoken. Because that’s me, I mean what I say. With all of my Bonfire heart.
I know that I am not a perfect person and I never claimed to be. I am stubborn, a bit mental, insecure, I can be a Bitch and have a big mouth that sometimes says things without my approval. I do before I think, have a temper, have trust issues and I am a master in fucking things up. But I do keep my promises.
And I do love you. Honestly. And I did mean it when I said forever.
We used to spend a lot of time together. Laughing, making fun, sharing stuff.
Look at us now…
I am feeling Numb.
We are not even talking anymore.
So, where did it go wrong? I guess that’s another question of mine that will be unanswered…
I Stand Alone again.
O well, I wish that you will be happy and loved for the rest of your life.
But I also wish that I knew why. I wish that I could turn back time. I wish you where brave enough to give me a reason.
I just wish…
That this wasn’t a Goodbye.
Lots of Love
Patty
This is beautiful. So touching and sad. I too have lost friends, I’m sure we all have, but it would be good to know why. I guess technically you’ve sent it now.🙂 Thanks for sharing.
Thanks!🙂
And I guess you’re right D, although I doubt it that he actually read it.
Lots of love and hugz
In the path I have found myself on. I have come to lose friends, some because they are scared of me, some because a taboo should be just that.
These I have almost accepted and have gotten used to and expect. But the ones who walk away with out a turn of a head to make sure they have made the right choice. These are the ones are harder to deal with, because these leave you asking the questions..Why me?
Thank you for sharing.
Very true words.
It always leaves us with the question: why?
I rather have people being honest with me. That hurts less.
Lots of love
Patty
You’ve expressed EVERYTHING I have felt over losing a partner. Quite moving. Thank you.
Thank you Cynthia!
Lots of love
Patty
Wonderful idea to thread the songs into your writing, Patty. “Somebody that I used to know” is one of my absolutely favorite songs BTW. Vanishing from someone’s life without giving any explanation is just not fair!
Thanks Heila!
Yes, I agree. A explanation would’ve been nice!
Lots of love
Friendships like seasons can come and go. It doesn’t negate the truth in them for their season. Remember while you enjoy a friend in your summer , come autumn you will have different needs but the memories of summer…and the belief in the beauty winter will bring …are what enrich our lives.🙂 love your use of lyrics
Thank you!
Lots of love
Patty
Sometimes, there is no reason… a bond comes to an end just like that. I hope you get a closure of some sort and feel good about that friendship, even if it is not found in the present.
Take care and have a good day.🙂
Thanks Anmol,
Yes, I know. But I am always looking for a reason behind things.
Lots of love to you my friend and take care!
Wow! I swear you wrote this from my very soul Even the almost 2 years thing. My story to the tee! Strange how they have walked away without explanation… One poem that really hit me in this whole experience has been that of Theodosia Garrison “The Closed Door”… you should find it. Jay
Thanks Jay!
Yes, it really leaves a empty space when someone you had around for so long is just gone in the blink of an eye.
I will certainly look up that poem.
Lots of love
Patty
Reblogged this on georgeforfun.
Love this! What a way to express your “Dear Friend” words put to poetry than with SONG!!! The subject has probably never come up, but with all the arts & all the senses, if I had to play the silly game of choosing, I choose music & hearing!!!! I cannot live without song & music! We can discuss that & what types of music sometime …..along with my Nederlands travel….HA! Phil
Thanks Phil!🙂
Yes, music can be the voice when the words are not enough.
I listen to a lot of music when I write, it makes it easier to tap into my inner feelings.
Love a lot of music, but rock is the genre I love most of all. Especially the ballads, they’re so raw, strong and deep.
Hugz
Dear Patty. One thing is, that you meant, what you said. Unfortunately it is not the same, as your earlier friend did mean the same.
By age we change, all of us, get new interests, new friends and partners. All those changes do also change our minds, no matter we think so or not.
I feel sure, that we are many souls, who have been through the same, as you describe here, mostly of us, I think.
It does hurt, specially when we don’t get an explanation, but this is a part of life too.
Like we are only responsable for, what we are saying, not what the others are hearing.
You just need to go on, and one day you will meet a friend, you can share your life with again. Not in the same way, but in a new way.
Evolution for all of us.
Best wishes
Irene
Thank you Irene.
And I know that you are right.
The thing is, I wouldn’t have mind if we just have gone our separate ways because we chose different paths of life. That’s inevitable.
But he let me made a promise and I kept that, but he let me fell because of that.
That hurts. It still does.
I just wish he would have been courageous enough to tell me to my face.
Maybe I am just naïve. But I am rather naïve and true than pretending that I am something that I’m not.
Anyways, it’s okay. It just stings a bit when I hear some songs that remind me of him.
Lots of love and hugz
I do understand you Patty.
I have an old friend, we did learn each other to know as 10 and 11 years old, did live our yought together, had kids almost same times and shared a lot in our life.
But life changes and today I rarely hear anything from her, only a note sometimes at Facebook.
I did also stay there for her 24/7 in her tough times, while she was not so much there for me, when I had mine.
Take care.
Irene
That’s exactly what I mean Irene.
It’s just hard if you have all these memories, but you know that’s all that they are now. Just memories.
Hugz
You are right Patty, now it is just memories. I try to tell myself, that which time went good, does not come back in a bad way. I can’t change the situation.
Love
Irene
Very true words.
That’s what I am trying to tell myself as well, just because it ended bad doesn’t mean it was all bad.
Hugz
Dear Friend…I love this!!! I love the concept of using lyrics of songs to create your writings. If you saw my site you will see I use music to correlate with my paints. I believe music and art can work together to create healing, this is my motivation for my blog. It appears we have similar philosophies. We are trying to heal in some way. Keep up the good work.
Thank you so much Jude!🙂
Yes, I noticed that you use music to create your art as well.
Music can be so soothing for the soul!
Lots of love
My dear Patty
Friendship is a strange phenomenon. The people we think are our friends often are our friends only because they are in need of something. It can be our compassion and love they need at that time. It can be that they feel lonely. It can be very down to earth, they need our expertise in something or just plain and simply food and money. There are lots of reasons why people can become friends but TRUE friendship…. well that is rare… very rare.
In all my years on the streets for example, may people said to be my friend. My best friend even….. until their need for me was over. I think that of all these friends I have made just 1 TRUE friend (2 when counting my wive lol) and believe me, I had the same things running trhough my mind as you have right now.
Maybe they have and will give you an answer someday but I kind of doubt it. Friendship seems to be like a paper napkin sometimes nowadays. Discard after use.
Celebrate the friends that prove to be true. Leave those that where fake behind you.
Lots of Love
Martin
I know Martin.
But that’s the thing, you know?
I already had trust issues, this is not exactly making it better lol.
Maybe I am strange for always meaning what I say and keeping my promises no matter what.
This guy was my friend for 15 years, I just never thought that I would lose him.
He made me promise something and I held my promise. But that seems to be the reason that this friendship ended as well.
Frustrating, I always want to know the truth.
And I really want to celebrate the friends that stay true, but I can never know for sure who they are. I thought he was.
Lots of love and hugz❤
I would never send this .
Me neither, but that’s just because I’m too damn proud.
Hugz to you