Let’s talk about a monster that’s always lurking in the shadows shall we?
It’s a beast called Depression.
This monster makes many victims every year, has the ability to show up out of nowhere and is a tough one to battle.
First of all, let’s see what the specialists can tell us about this monster:
“Depression is a state of low mood and aversion to activity that can affect a person’s thoughts, behavior, feelings and sense of well-being. Depressed people feel sad, anxious, empty, hopeless, worried, helpless, worthless, guilty, irritable, hurt, or restless. They may lose interest in activities that once were pleasurable, experience loss of appetite or overeating, have problems concentrating, remembering details, or making decisions, and may contemplate, attempt, or commit suicide. Insomnia, excessive sleeping, fatigue, loss of energy, or aches, pains, or digestive problems that are resistant to treatment may also be present.
Depressed mood is not always a psychiatric disorder. It may also be a normal reaction to certain life events, a symptom of some medical conditions, or a side effect of some drugs or medical treatments. Depressed mood is also a primary or associated feature of certain psychiatric syndromes such as clinical depression.”
Like I said, one hell of a monster!
This monster comes in different sizes and shapes. Everyone knows the days that you just don’t want to come out of bed. The days you feel like crap and dark thoughts are swirling through your head. Those days are perfectly normal and your mood will brighten up after a couple of days.
But what if it not brightens? What if you are stuck inside a dark, cold shadow place and the monster that’s called Depression is sneaking up on you? What happens when that monster slowly approaches and suddenly grabs you by the throat?
The darkness, the loneliness, the emptiness and sadness become a part of your daily life. Despair, hopelessness and sometimes anger become your only reality. No light. No happiness. No hope for the future.
Of course you try to battle this monster. You fight with all that you have. But battle makes you weary and the sleepless nights make you weak. You don’t want to give up but….What was the point of going on again?
This particular size of monster is called: Clinical Depression and is the most fearsome of all.
How to identify this monster. Symptoms of clinical depression:
This monster called Depression doesn’t care if you are young or old. It sees no difference in race or religion. It just grabs everyone it can get its dirty claws on.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, symptoms of depression may include the following:
* Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
* Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness
* Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
* Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
* Irritability, restlessness
* Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
* Overeating or appetite loss
* Persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment
* Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” feelings
* Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts
What to do if you are battling a monster like this:
Recovering from depression requires action, but taking action when you’re depressed is hard. In fact, just thinking about the things you should do to feel better, like going for a walk or spending time with friends, can be exhausting.
Start small and stay focused.
The key to depression recovery is to start with a few small goals and slowly build from there. Draw upon whatever resources you have. You may not have much energy, but you probably have enough to take a short walk around the block or pick up the phone to call a loved one.
Take things one day at a time and reward yourself for each accomplishment. The steps may seem small, but they’ll quickly add up. Make a small list of things you want to do for the day and stick to that list.
In order to overcome depression, you have to take care of yourself. This includes following a healthy lifestyle, learning to manage stress, setting limits on what you’re able to do, adopting healthy habits, and scheduling fun activities into your day.
* Aim for eight hours of sleep.
* Expose yourself to a little sunlight every day. Aim for at least 15 minutes outside every day.
* Keep stress in check. Figure out all the things in your life that stress you out. Once you’ve identified your stressors, you can make a plan to avoid them or minimize their impact.
* Practice relaxation techniques. A daily relaxation practice can help relieve symptoms of depression, reduce stress, and boost feelings of joy and well-being. Try yoga, deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or meditation.
* Care for a pet. While nothing can replace the human connection, pets can bring joy and companionship into your life and help you feel less isolated.
While you can’t force yourself to have fun or experience pleasure, you can choose to do things that you used to enjoy. Pick up a former hobby or a sport you used to like. Express yourself creatively through music, art, or writing. Talk to friends and family.
Push yourself to do things, even when you don’t feel like it. You might be surprised at how much better you feel once you’re out in the world. Even if your depression doesn’t lift immediately, you’ll gradually feel more upbeat and energetic as you make time for fun activities.
When you’re depressed, exercising may be the last thing you feel like doing. But exercise is a powerful tool for dealing with depression. In fact, studies show that regular exercise can be as effective as antidepressant medication at increasing energy levels and decreasing feelings of fatigue.
Here are a few easy ways to get moving:
* Take the stairs rather than the elevator
* Park your car in the farthest spot in the lot
* Pair up with an exercise partner
* Walk while you’re talking on the phone
When you can’t defeat the monster yourself:
If you find your depression getting worse and worse, seek professional help. Needing additional help doesn’t mean you’re weak! Sometimes the negative thinking in depression can make you feel like you’re a lost cause, but depression can be treated and you can feel better.
What to do when someone you care about is attacked by this monster:
When you know someone who’s a victim of this monster, don’t walk away! Don’t think that this person is faking these feelings and do not judge him or her!
Instead, try to care. Let this person know you care. Show your support and offer them a shoulder to lean on.
Because Depression may be one hell of a monster to battle, it’s almost impossible to fight it on your own.
1. Be there.
The best thing you can do for someone with depression is to be there. Let them know you care.
2. Try a small gesture.
Sending a card or a text to cooking a meal to leaving a voicemail. Again, let the person who’s fighting this monster know that you care.
3. Don’t judge or criticize.
What you say can have a powerful impact on your loved one. Saying statements such as: “You just need to see things as half full, not half empty” or “I think this is really all just in your head. If you got up out of bed and moved around, you’d see things better.” won’t help your loved one at all. Do not judge!
4. Avoid the tough-love approach.
Many individuals think that being tough on their loved one will undo their depression or inspire positive behavioral changes, Serani said. For instance, some people might intentionally be impatient with their loved one, push their boundaries, use silence, be callous or even give an ultimatum. But consider that this is as useless, hurtful and harmful as ignoring, pushing away or not helping someone who has cancer.
5. Don’t minimize their pain.
Statements such as“You’re just too thin-skinned” or “Why do you let every little thing bother you?” shame a person with depression. It invalidates what they’re experiencing and completely glosses over the fact that they’re struggling with a difficult disorder – not some weakness or personality flaw.
6. Avoid offering advice.
It probably seems natural to share advice with your loved one. Whenever someone we care about is having a tough time, we yearn to fix their heartache.
What helps instead is to ask, “What can we do to help you feel better?” This gives your love one the opportunity to ask for help.
7. Avoid making comparisons.
Unless you’ve experienced a depressive episode yourself, saying that you know how a person with depression feels is not helpful.
8. Learn as much as you can about depression.
You can avoid the above missteps and misunderstandings simply by educating yourself about depression. Once you can understand depression’s symptoms, course and consequences, you can better support your loved one.
For instance, some people assume that if a person with depression has a good day, they’re cured. Remember that Depression is not a static illness. Days will shift a lot before a person who is battling depression is victorious.
9. Be patient.
When you have depression, hope can be hard to come by. Patience offers hope.
Sometimes supporting someone with depression may feel like you’re walking a tight rope. What do I say? What do I not say? What do I do? What do I not do?
But remember that just by being there and asking how you can help can be an incredible gift.
Most important thing to remember about this monster: It can attack anyone, so don’t judge, just care.
Lots of love
Patty
Reblogged this on A Dose of Inspiration.
Thank you for the reblog!
Lots of love
Patty
I love this! Thank You so much for sharing! It’s great to educate people. Depression can be so confusing to people who don’t have it and even those who do. Depressed mood isn’t necessarily clinical depression or a depressive disorder. I find it so frustrating when people ask me why I’m depressed because while there are definitely occasions I am depressed for a specific reason, that’s often not the case. Even doctors sometimes ask me why I’m depressed or what’s going on to make me depressed and I feel like I have to make something up or come up with something, wrack my brain searching for a valid justification. I have often felt this way, like my depression isn’t justified just being as it is. But I know that’s not true. It’s an illness that can flare up for no known reason. Just a chemical imbalance. Thank You for the reminders about doing little things to combat depression. This is something I still struggle with sometimes, lack of desire, energy, and motivation to take small steps to cope with a depressive episode. So often, I just want to give in and let it consume me completely because I just don’t have the energy to move or anything. I love reminders like this!
😀
Thank you! 🙂
I know what you mean. Mental health issues are so hard to explain to people who never had to battle them. It’s easier to break a leg so that everyone can see what is wrong with you. I am sorry that you have to battle this monster as well sometimes, it’s a vicious one for sure! Never give up though! You are a warrior!
Lots of love
Patty
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Thank you for following my blog. I look forward to reading more of your posts. I think you might enjoy my poem, “Your Secrets”, here: http://thepoetrychannel.wordpress.com/2014/05/25/your-secrets/
Thank you for visiting and following mine. 🙂
I will take a look right away.
Lots of love
Patty
thank you PAtty for sharing this information on this very important post.. Blessings always
Thank you.
Lots of love ❤
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Patty dear!
This is so RIGHT ON! thank you! I reposted it on my facebook page
Thank you Jane!
Depression should not be taken lightly.
Sending you lots and lots of love ❤
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Reblogged this on Chronic Pains Blog and commented:
An interesting post looking at depression that come with chronic pains
Thank you for the reblog!
Lots of love
Patty
🙂
Personally I am pleased to say that I don’t think I’ve ever scraped the barrel of depression. I do see it on a daily basis with my son (bipolar autistic 12 y/o) and it is hard to watch. Part of it is the condition, part of it is the medication, and part of it is being 12 not knowing how fully express himself yet.
This is a very informative article. My son has read it and reports that from his point of view that feeling alone, for him, is mental, and it’s a hard “monster” to shake. He’s aware we don’t fully understand everything going on in his head but he knows we try and for that he is thankful.
That must be hard, to see your son struggle like that.
I am glad that you liked the article. Your son is right, this is a monster that is hard to shake off!
Especially when you have other conditions to battle as well. Your son is a brave and heroic knight!
And smart as well.
Send you both love and hugz!
Reblogged this on yadadarcyyada and commented:
Well-written post. Just wanted to share.
Thanks for the reblog!
Lots of love
Patty
Ugh! tell me about it!
Wonderful post. Thanks so much for sharing this. Have you listened to Dar Williams’ song “After All,” about recovering from depression? Makes me cry every time I hear it…
Thank you Denise!
No, I never heard it, but I will certainly look it up and check it out. Thank you.
Lots of love
Patty
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Reblogged this on Depths of DMW Lewis and commented:
If you or someone you know has problems with “Dementors”, this post can help!
Thank you so much for the reblog!
Lots of love
Patty
As someone who’s battled heavily with Dementors, this post was brilliant.
Thank you so much!
I really hope it will help.
I am sorry that you had to battle as well. Stay strong.
Lots of love
Patty
Patty, this is so good that you put IT out there for people to read about…and to deepen their understanding….I know the feeling of being judged for it…someone said, “WHY don’t you just snap out of it!”…I am sure, myself, and others would immediately, if it were that simple! Your writing about it will help many!
Thank you so much Jane!
I really hope it will raise some understanding. It’s no one choice to battle a monster like this!
Lots of love and hugz ❤
Reblogged this on tulabugblog and commented:
Very informative and true!
Thanks Patty,
Thank you for the reblog!
Lots of love
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A great read Patty! Informative and empathetic. Most days, I’m happy to call a truce with Depression. Winning the war is a goal, always and you’ve shared some excellent strategies for those with Depression and the people who love them.
Thank you Karin!
I am sorry you have to battle as well. Sending you hugz!
Stay strong and keep fighting.
Lots of love
Patty
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Reblogged this on Miss Lizzy and commented:
Not just a monster.
But something created in the bowels of hell really
Pingback: A Monster called Depression… | climaxtackle
Thank you for sharing this! I know it can be very difficult to talk about subjects like this, but you’ve done a wonderful job of explaining the monster and sharing ways to fight it.
Thank you Megan!
If only I can reach a few people and raise some awareness, I think a difference can be made.
Lots of love
Patty
Reblogged this on Stella Kiink and commented:
Nobody should be ashamed to be dealing with depression. It hits all of us at certain times in our lives to many different degrees.
Comprehensive, knowledgeable, empathetic, empowering and a lot of hard work in this well written article. You have become your own therapy and I congratulate you on fighting back.
Thank you Mike!
Lots of love
Patty
Great post. 🙂 Another reason people need more hugs.
Thank you Chris!
And that are true words! 🙂
Lots of love
You’re right. It is a monster. I have Bipolar II with severe depression as well as the manic highs that can be just as bad. You’ve done a great job of describing this difficult condition and I thank you for your words. I think they’ll help a lot of people. Good work!
peace,
Steve
Thank you Steven!
I am sorry that you have to battle as well. I have severe PTSD myself, not a walk in the park either.
I really hope this can help people, especially family and friends from someone who is battling!
Understanding and care can be very helpful when times are dark.
Lots of love
Patty
Thanks for this excellent article. I recollect a friend telling me about a time he was depressed. Walking into a pub he bumped into former colleagues who knew that he was suffering from depression. They finished their drinks quickly, made their excuses and left being unable or unwilling to interact with him. You are right, depression can affect anyone, Kevin
Thank you so much.
It’s true, people often don’t know what to say so they just don’t say anything.
This can make someone feel even more alone.
Lots of love
Patty
I have suffered from low self esteem which leads to bouts of depression, usually triggered by something so trivial as a stranger making a comment. But as you pointed out in your great article it is all about identifying the symptoms (with me anyway) before they take hold and I get swallowed by that great big black pit that I cannot climb out of. Thank you for posting this great article it will help loads of us who suffer or are close to people who struggle with depression.
Thank you so much for your comment Maria.
I have struggled with the effects of low self esteem for years as well. I am doing better now, but like you say, it can still be triggered at any moment.
Identifying the symptoms for yourself of someone close to you can be the first step towards healing. I hope that this article helps people understand depression better.
Stay strong!
Lots of love
Patty
Sadly I’m very well acquainted with this monster. I suffered of one very serious burnout, a minor one but in fact I was continually depressed for the last 14 years of a 17-year period.
This period ended 7 years ago when I left my wife and started a whole new life.
While I still feel blue during the winters, whom doesn’t, I consider myself cured. I don’t take any meds and I don’t need them, thank you very much.
Thank you Franco.
I am sorry you know this monster as well. It really is a dark one, isn’t it?
I am glad to hear you are doing better! And without medication, that shows some real strength.
Thank you for sharing. Stay strong.
Lots of love
Patty
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This is a really excellent article Patty…so very well done!
Thank you Kev!
And thank you for the ping back my friend.
Lots of love and hugz
🙂
Very helpful post dear Patty. My son has a friend with depression and I always felt I can’t help her because nothing interests her or causes her joy. I will show my son your post and the step-by-step advice and ask him to talk to his friend. Thanks for a very valuable post. Heila
Thank you my dear friend!’
I hope it will help your son’s friend a bit. It’s a tough battle, but we can help each other!
Lots of love and hugz
She was hopitalized in quite a bad state a day after your post, but now she’s out again and is feeling a little better. My son calls her often to see how she’s doing.
Yes, it is such a struggle, but everyone needs to decide for himself that he/she wants to live and only then others can really help.
HUGS back!
O dear! I am glad that she’s back home now! Very sweet of your son to keep in touch, I know it’s hard. My brother is suffering from depression for a while now and I am fighting really hard for him.
Lots of love and hugz!
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can be the worst. It is filled with high depression and high anxiety. Some people in extreme cases have said that they feel ruined inside. It also separates them from people as well. It is difficult to treat. Heroes of war and abusive trauma who experience PTSD are courageous beyond words. Dan
I know Dan, I have PTSD quite severe myself and I wouldn’t wish it for anyone. The nightmares, the flashbacks, the horror inside your soul. I am very familiar with it.
Thank you very much for your comment and caring.
Lots of love
Patty
Thanks for your nice note. It was a very helpful for you to address the topic as many people have depression and PTSD and often it is hidden. People live in quiet desperation or act out the pain.
Very true Dan.
I know. It’s so much easier to wear a mask and pretend everything is okay than showing your real feelings.
Lots of love
Patty
Patty, Such a comprehensive post on such a complex problem & topic……very impressive, thorough justice you did it! “Push yourself to do things,” a big piece of advice right in that! Phil
Thank you Phil!
I feel like a little understanding about this topic can certainly lead to good things.
Lots of love and hugz
Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
A masterpiece …. coming from the heart of the writer! Take a look ….. Learn!
Reblogged this on Surrendered Heart and commented:
Because I understand this all too well, and I know at least one of my dear readers does too.
Thank you, Patty. I will come right out and say I know this monstor well. I have fought it all my life. And from that battle, much beauty has been created. Yet going through it is so hard for taking the first step out of that state, is the most dfifficult. Why do I say much beauty has been created? Because in taking the first step, I head towards something as an OUTLET for that depression. This is how many of my gardens were created. When I lost 3 Loved ones in 3 months time, I became obsessed as I dug out new gardens. I had to place my feelings somewhere. And in so doing, I created much beauty.
I had to put down 2 of my beloved cats last June. You would THINK I am over it. I am not. Just this morning found me doubled over sobbing uncontrollably, tears streaming down my face missing those boys. Asking myself if I could have done more. Yes, I could have.
I have for the past few days been in a black space. And when this happens, I’ve learned not to fight it, for it too shall pass and the reason eventually does show itself. I am posting later today a photo of Karma with Benji, one of they boys that I had to put down, and just that photo touched an area that was not fully resolved. Is loosing someone you Love, ever resolved?
And in the tears, the sobs that racked my entire body, afterwards, came a calm. I let go. I had to do what I had to do at the time I put Benji down, and no amount of second guessing myself, will make a difference. And playing the “If” game won’t do any good either. What is, IS.
Also, a good many of us suffer SAD, a condtion in the winter when the cold and lack of sun occur. I admit here too, it hits me. I love Sun and being outdoors. Is moving an optional at this point in my life? Probably not. So I deal as best I can with what I do have in my life. And one of those ways is I go to the gym today!
Thank you, Patty. Very needed information here!!! Beautifully presented!!!! (((HUGS)))
Thank you for your comment Amy. I am so sorry for your loss.
Loss is something I unfortunately know a lot about. I have suffered from that way too many. And with every loss it’s like a piece of you goes with your loved one. I often wonder how many pieces I have left. But, like you said, life creates some beautiful gardens as well. Because with every new friendship we start, we get a piece of ourselves back.
I don’t believe there is a timeframe for grieving. I lost my big brother when I was 14 but some days it’s still like I lost him yesterday.
I would love to see that picture you are posting! Definitely going to hop over to your blog later.
Lets all battle this monster together. Know that I care. ❤
Lots of love
Patty
Patty, my deepest empathy goes to you. I truly am so sorry for the loss of your brother. They say time heals. I beg to differ.
Those losses, my friend, have formed who we are. At times, I look into the mirror and ask what you did….just how many pieces of me are left? I look to those I Love, and know the day comes I must part with they as well. That is the heartache in Loving. When you loose that person a part of you really does go with them.
WE can do this together. You are as strong as you are because of what you have experienced. Yet, I ask God how much stronger do I have to be, for I don’t know if I can be any stronger. It just hurts too darn much!
Many of my sayings come out of life’s experience. Many fly over the heads of many, for in being young, or having an easy life. Those of us who “lead” are doing so because of the experiences we have had and the Wisdom we have gained.
The post you will want to look out for is called “TAO”. Deep breath. Also, many do not realize the Love for an “animal” can be just as great if not greater then for a human. At least, for some of us this is true.
With Love and Peace,
Amy
Thank you Amy.
I believe that time heals, but some things leave scars that can be ripped open at any moment.
It does hurt to lose someone you love. I have experienced it so many times now and every time it hits even harder.
Animals are those who comfort us and are around us in times of sadness. They will give us love without hesitation and conditions. So of course they are just a part of the family. It’s not only losing a soul you love, you also lose a bit of unconditional love.
So I know what you mean my friend. And I feel sad for those who don’t.
Going to check out your blog now.
Lots of love and hugz
I suffer from depression, and have experienced clinical depression twice. I would never wish this pain on anyone. But it is possible to fight it and win. I Would love to reblog with permission
I am so sorry you have to battle this monster. Of course you can reblog, the more people who know about this, the better!
You must have a lot of strength within you to fight and win! Stay strong.
Sending you a lot of love
Patty
“Don’t judge ” such important advice for all avenues of life . And yes, it is one hell of a monster!!
Thank you so much for your comment!
Very true words, judging gets us nowhere. Understanding is the way to go!
Lots of love
Patty
Wonderfully written. I suffer from depression, and have had bouts of clinical depression…I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, but you can fight it and win. Thank you for this article. I’d love to reblog with permission.
Xx
This is one hell of a post. Kudos Patty …. it’s very well done!! Couldn’t have come from a better source …. someone who knows the “monster” first hand …..
Please, know that I’m here for you … reach out when you need to. You know that don’t you??
From the heart ….
BTW … I do care!! ❤ ……
I know you do my dear sister! ❤
❤ …. 🙂
Thank you Doc! It’s true I have battled depression in the past. Luckily I never had to take on clinical depression, but some people I hold very dear are battling it right now. I believe that we can support each other in this battle!
Lots of love and hugz
Right back at you …. lots of love and hugz!! From the heart …..
That’s a monster I have fought many times in the past.
You certainly have showed some strength Richard! This is a furious one for sure.
Stay strong my friend.
Sending you hugz! ❤
Thanks, Patty, you’re a gem.
Good on you for highlighting it.
Very right written Patty. You are so much right and even when we are through one usselves, we have the risk to forget, how bad it was. Thanks for your reminding.
Irene
Thank you for reading Irene. And thank you so much for caring!
Lots of love
Patty
I remember, how tough it can be, and I enjoy to be free from dep. now.
Irene