*Pardon my language on this one guys, but I really can’t find another word for these people! If it’s upsets you, just don’t read it.*
Most of us have been visit by an online asshole at least once. These are people who scout the blogosphere to find people they can leave a nasty comment to wreck their day. Yes, I know, we should ignore them. But I can’t. Because they are harassing people I care for as well. So I think that it’s best to give them something to chew on. Just one little bone. It makes me feel better! 🙂
Anyway, back to the assholes. I don’t have a clue what’s wrong with these people. Maybe they are unhappy with their own lives? Maybe they just want attention? I really don’t know.
And I don’t want to know either because people like that, I don’t want to have around.
What I do know is how to deal with them. I have dealt with my fair share of bullies and they piss me off.
If you don’t have a life, get one! If you are not happy, do something about it! But don’t come to other people’s blogs just to say something stupid or hurtful. Or make a dumb post about something you don’t know anything about. Yes, I have a good memory and I am not that forgiving either.
Okay, here we go. First example. Let’s say you open your mailbox and find a message like this:
The next time I read a blog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read, but I actually thought youd have something interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you could fix if you werent too busy looking for attention. realizzazione siti web http://www.web-station.it/
Not very nice huh? Now, of course a messages like this will sting a bit. After all, as a writer, you put your heart and soul into your work. Especially bloggers. Most of us tell our story here that we never told anywhere else. And most of the time, that’s just the top of the iceberg.
It’s not that great to be judge on something like that.
But, we are not going to cry about it or let us get down. We will just write a polite reply message:
Thank you so much for your lovely comment! Do you make a habit of visiting people’s blog just to judge them while you know absolutely nothing about them? You must be so proud of yourself! I would applaud you, but I am actually way too busy typing disappointing whining for my blog. Hope you have a wonderful day! Patty
Of course I checked out the site at the bottom of the comment. Turns out, it’s a business site, and this asshole had used their site to write this comment. Well, over a coward like that I am sure as hell not going to lose sleep! I did send an email to the owner of this site to let him know where his site was being used for. I mean, I would want to know that as well!
And another thing, noticed the poor writing in that comment? English is not even my first language, but I can write it better than this prick! How can you take someone like that serious?
You can’t. And you shouldn’t.
Another example. I have permission of a friend of mine to use this ‘review’ on her book in this How To.
Has anyone heard of sexual harassment? Worse excuse for a book that I’ve seen in a long long time. Don’t waste your time as I just did and I skipped a lot of the very worse parts.
Now that isn’t very nice! And not much of a review either. Did this person even read the book? Because I have and I don’t recognize this book in these words. So, I decided to leave a little comment myself:
Did you even read the book? Because I did and I don’t recognize any of the things you say. I was very surprised to read your words because I really enjoyed reading this book. The story is good, the characters are appealing and it reads very smooth. I can’t wait to read the sequel! But hey, everyone has a right to their own opinion. Even if it’s based on nothing at all…
My point is, don’t get too upset over a lousy review or a nasty comment. These people are really not worth to feel down about. As a writer, you have to develop a thick skin.
There will always be people who will judge you based on their own narrow thoughts or their disability to create something themselves. Or maybe even on nothing at all. Just let them. They are just sad, lonely creatures who seek a bit of attention. So throw them a bone and go on with the important stuff! 🙂
Don’t let anyone ever judge you. They don’t know you and haven’t fought your battles.
You are worth it!
Lots of love,
Patty
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Thank you Patty for sharing this and for not backing down. I’ve seen this a lot. It is so easy to hide behind a computer screen and harass people, believing they’ve done something noble. Get a life! Thanks again.
Peace and Love<3
Thank you Syl.
I absolutely despise bullies. In real life and on the net. Can you imagine someone like that picking on a young girl who is bullied and feels insecure already? This has to stop.
Hugz & Love ❤
Yes, it needs to stop. There’s already enough B.S. going in the world and to have to deal with bullying too. Enough is enough
Peace and Love ❤
Awesomeness
Thank you!
Lots of love
Patty
Patty, I will not tolerate bullying of any kind. I’ve had both on a personal basis in my email and on my blog and I do delete them and put them in SPAM. I do not have the time nor the energy to tolerate irrtate people who do not know the word respect. I honor you, my sister, and I know you that! (((HUGS))) Amy
Well said Amy! 🙂
I don’t tolerate them either. The first reason I wrote this post and let those comments through is because I wanted to encourage some of my friends who are having a hard time because of this. The second reason is that I don’t have to think about what would happen if these assholes would pick on a 14 year old, insecure kid for example. The impact these people can have on kids is huge. I need to do something about that! It has to stop.
Love & Hugz to you always ❤
Love and (((HUGS)) to you as well, Patty. Stay strong, stay well, and BE Happy!!!! Love, Amy
Patty if I received a message like that I would have curled in bed and cowered. However, I like how you handled it and hope I never have the chance but if I do, I will respond like you did. My book will be available in a few months and I am dreading reviews. I know there are sick people out there like your “friend”, and hope they don’t find me.
Hugs
Jude
Thank you Jude. That’s exactly why I wrote this post in the first place, as a encouragement for my friends who have to deal with people like this. I don’t allow that. My mother used to say ‘be kind or shut your mouth’. I agree with her. I can’t wait until I can read your book! 🙂 I am super curious!
Don’t let reviews bring you down. It’s unfortunately a part of being a writer and a artist. Some people don’t have a brain, but they always have a opinion lol! 🙂
But please let me know if you ever have trouble with a bully, I will come running for sure!
Love & Hugz ❤
Patty this is so True. so many of use suffer these ATTACKS in silence, or try to ignore, even though they pierce the heart and stifle the soul. Its such a shame that there are people out there who live to sow discord and Enjoy being cruel. It is the truth of our reality and yet, it can only be our reality if we continue to do nothing about it. I for one Report, Block and Unfollow these idiots.
Thank you Morgan and very well said my friend!
I do the same, but I let a comment through every once in a while to show others that I am attacked as well and that we can stand up to it!
Together we will wipe WordPress clean.
Love & Hugz ❤
Reblogged this on Tell me about it and commented:
STOP BULLYING NOW SPEAK UP~Seems I have myself a bully on my blog! I’ve asked them to stop politely and privately but I’ve decided to post their comments on my post I Made Peace, instead of spamming them. Let me warn you they are not nice. I don’t want to draw attention to them but to STAND UP and SAY NO MORE BULLYING~Stay off my BLOG~Sweet Patty has dealt with these types before so I decided to let this person’s own words show their true character.
Do you mind if I quote a few of your articles as long
as I provide credit and sources back to your website? My blog is in the very same niche as yours and my visitors would definitely benefit from some of the information you present here.
Please let me know if this okay with you. Regards!
Sure! I would be honored.
Lots of love
Patty
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I’m now not certain where you’re getting your info, but great topic.
I needs to spend a while finding out much more or figuring out
more. Thank you for great information I was looking for this information for my mission.
Thank you for reading!
Any questions are welcome.
Lots of love
Patty
Patty, This is a wonderful post. I read it a couple times as reblogs, and see it as such an important message. A very relevant work of art was brought to my attention the other night and I wanted to share it with you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIJGToXQwlM
Thank you my friend. 🙂
I am glad you like it.
And thank you so much for sharing this with me, it’s a really great video and I love it very much!
I could make a post around this if you agree? I think others should see this as well!
Lots of love and hugz
Patty
I was thinking the same thing myself. I agree you should do something with it. You should check out his other works on you tube as well. He blew me away with all his spoken word messages/stories/poems. Also helped inspire my most recent post “Paper Pirates” which I wrote a s a thank you to all my WP friends for being such consistent inspiration to me. I can’t wait to see how you treat Shane’s video with your personal grace and delicate touch.
XO
John
Merciii!!!! It helped so much. Did my blog in an afternoon and it looked so professionnal my hubby was impress 😉 Just need to find out how to have people to be able to subscrire to follow my blog…still didn’t find that out.?
I would like to thnkx for the efforts you have put in writing this blog. I am hoping the same high-grade blog post from you in the upcoming also. In fact your creative writing skills has encouraged me to get my own website now. Really the blogging is spreading its wings fast. Your write up is a good example of it.
Thank you!
Lots of love
Patty
Great post, just to let you know one of my readers sent it to my email after I had an idiot posting scathing attacks on my blog 🙂 some people just get off on it. If they don’t like it don’t read it. On complaining or stirring trouble.
Thank you!
And you are right. If they don’t like it, they don’t have to read it!
Keep your head up!
Lots of love
Patty
Good Morning! I discovered spectacular notions 🙂 Keep writing!
What people like this don’t realize is that each time they point a finger at someone, there other three fingers are pointing back at them…try it, point your finger and you’ll see what I mean…There’s a reason for it beyond the physical touch. 😉
Very true! 🙂
Hugz
Girl I love this. I also had to put something on my page because for some reason a few have thought to email me personally and also include photos which pisses me off. I love this and totally agree if someone doesn’t have something kind and nice and uplifting to say then don’t post. They do bring you down and make you want to stop blogging all together. I almost quit last week but I decided to keep blogging no matter what anyone says. Sure gets me though how mean people can be and you are right they must be very miserable! Hugs to you Patty I love this!
I am so sorry you had to deal with this my sweet friend!
Just know I have your back! Let me know if they are trying to mess with you again.
Keep your head up because you are awesome!
Lots of love and hugz
Very well said. There seems to be an epidemic of poor taste going around and your suggestions may help to reduce it. Thanks
Thank you John. I certainly hope so.
Lots of love
A very important reminder indeed. Had a ‘polite’ one before. Had to need the Seeker’s assistance on that one.
Thank you.
I hope they will leave you alone. It’s a shame that these people are around.
Lots of love
Patty
Good article, love it! Just so you know, though, that first comment happens to be a particularly unkind piece of spam. My spam inbox has multiple copies of it, all by different ‘businesses.’ I’ve always doubted what it achieves, though…I guess bloggers are supposed to go flame them on their own site? Still, I prefer spam that at least elicits a laugh!
And I’m so glad I tend not to attract the really nasty comments, though. Blogging has thickened my skin!
Thank you!
And I am glad that you won’t let them get to you.
I don’t really care about unkind comments on my blog, I have a thick skin as well. But I know some people who blog about very touchy subjects of their past and I know comments like this can hurt them. That’s why I wrote this post. I don’t want my friends to quit blogging because of some idiots or upsetting spam.
Lots of love
Patty
That would be me and I don’t have very many followers, so maybe that’s why I’m lucky so far to receive encouragement on WP. My blog could use better organization, separating the cohesive story that is developing slowly over time from the random posts of poetry etc. in the middle. I may not post often right now due to some physical setback happening just as I recover from the previous, but every single post has meaning to me and some of them go very deep. It is not obvious, especially if you don’t know me and you don’t start at the beginning of the story… Thanks for the advice about what to do specific to blogging and writing attracting haters. I still see myself as just starting out and anything that makes it to my blog is likely not past 2nd draft level. I write and then move on. Only one or two things are really polished. I think knowing that creativity and expression, not perfection, are my goals will help let me just let the haters hate if they do stop by. I may develop some of my posts further into something bigger later on, but I’m just playing with words for the moment. My super awesome novel is quite some time away from being started. I think your suggestions are great.
Thank you Danielle! 🙂
I will definitely stop by your blog to check it out.
Keep writing for yourself and from the heart, that’s the best way to write!
Lots of love
Patty
Pingback: Reblogging a very important post … in case you missed it!! | It Is What It Is
I have yet to receive one but when I do, I now know how to deal with it! Thanks Patty!
I hope you will never receive one my friend!
And you are welcome!
Lots of love and hugz
Reblogged this on Bishop Eddie Tatro's Study and commented:
Warning to all those out there, I protect my PACK & PARLIAMENT! You do harm and this gentle soul will turn into one hell of an ALPHA WOLF!
Reblogged this on Looking for reasoning to a complicated world and commented:
WARNING. People are hacking people’s accounts. And I thought this was worth a Reblog because it’s true. Some people can go beyond stupid to a whole new realm. Please Reblog… Shaun
I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. I’m angry for these kinds of harrasments at a place that we are giving and receiving love. Since we are very sensitive it’s harder to ignore, but as friends say this is (disturbing or annoying us) what those kind of people are fed with.
You have written the first sentence very clearly : If you don’t like it or else, just don’t read it. There is too much love, effort and art I find and enjoy at your blog. Thank you for being you 🙂
Hugs and love
Servant Z (of Yelloz at fourcatpaw)
Thank you very much my friend. Luckily there are many kind people like you out there!
I just feel like we haveto stand up against harrasment like this because it makes people quit blogging and that’s just not right!
Lots of love and hugz
Patty
Thank you 🙂
Love and hugs
Z.
Very well written Patty. They can just come…
You are right, there are some, very small people in mind, who find it the right to do, to try to destroy other people or let them down. We can just be happy, that they are not in our inner circle of friends, they don’t belong there.
Many kind thoughts for you.
Irene
Thank you Irene!
I just felt I had to do something. I heard stories about people quiting their blogs because of some online bullies. That’s just not right!
Lots of love and hugz
I hope you have a very nice day. 🙂
Same to you my friend! 🙂
Well said. I seem to get them weekly. I do ignore 99% of them now.
That 1% go over the line.
Hugs
Yes, some will push your buttons. Let’s push back! 😉
Hugz ♥ X
Great write up on an irritating occurrence!
Thank you Alex!
Lots of love
There you go again…preach it, Sister.
Hugs to you people can be very nasty for some unknown reason, I have talked with some for the very same reason. Keep safe in this world Patti. My friend wants to keep her blog but is getting scared
Very true!
I hope your friend will keep her blog. Let me know if I can do anything.
Lots of love
Bravo Patty! I give you well deserved credit for addressing this issue.
Thank you!
Thanks Heart! 🙂
Hugz ♥
hugs! I once had one of these political blogs actually leave my location in a response to a comment I made to them. They had to have looked up my IP # to get that, how they got that (the #) I don’t know but it was very disturbing.
I know. They are very annoying! And cowards as well. Never using their real name or blog. Drives me nuts!
I was bullied a few times: in an online volunteer activity, an online Facebook group by e-mail and once on WordPress. Bullies are not limited by age, race, mental capacity, religion or anything else. The word ‘troll’ fits them well. They might not be ugly but what is inside them is.
Very true words Jackie. I am sorry this happened to you!
We have to cope with those trolls the best we can.
Keep your head up!
Lots of love
Patty
Reblogged this on Mind Chatter.
Amen, Patty. I have a hard time ignoring Trolls, too. Good ideas. 😉 Danke TY 😉
You are welcome my friend. Just send those trolls over, so I can play with them. 😉
Lots of love and hugz ♥
Hi Patty, this is GREAT! I have gotten the same harassment comment that you posted in your essay…the one with the company name. I did not know what to say! Thank you for helping me for the next time~! EVERYTHING you have written here is right on target! Thanks!
Thank you very much my dear friend! I am glad I can help a bit.
Lots of love and hugz!
Writers are not the only people who pour their very essence into their posts. I can not imagine what I would do if someone criticized my photos without stating why. I mean, I understand and can accept constructive criticism. But to criticize to make yourself feel superior? I like your written response to the person who critiqued your blog. I hope I don’t have to use that response one day.
Very true Emilio! You are right, this counts for any form of art.
I hope you won’t ever have to deal with this either. But make sure you are ready okay? No one has the right to criticize you. Constructive feedback? Sure! But no nasty things just because they feel like it. If, by any chance, someone will give you a comment like that, you can send them to my blog. I will have some fun with them! 😉
Lots of love
Patty
I might just do that. I am no good with confrontation. I get tongue tied. Thank you!
You are welcome. 🙂
Great post Patty!! You go girl! And I hope that others can read this and learn from your experiences – thanks for putting this out there. You are amazing 🙂
Thanks Jade! 🙂
You make me blush!
Hugz ♥
Patty, Well said & deserved. One of the nicest qualities I’ve discovered in a friend of mine is that she is TOTALLY nonjudgmental more than anyone I have ever met. This quality in its purist form is angelic! These people you speak of are no angels!!!!!!! They are evil!!!! Phil
Thanks Phil! 🙂
Yes, it is a great quality if someone isn’t judgmental at all. I believe those who are, are missing out on some great friends! I am a little judgmental myself, if someone comes at my friends or family, I have no problem judging them at all! 😉
Hugz ♥
Sadly there are a lot of people out there like this, even though painful, you handled it very well, don’t let it get you down. People like this aren’t worth the time of day.
Very true Dom! I don’t get upset that easy, but it does make me a bit mad because there are a lot of people who share some very sensitive things on their blog. I don’t want them to get hurt, so I thought I would shine a light on the subject. 🙂
Lots of love
Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
Take that!!!! Ass-hats!! Very well said …. Patty. If the shoe fits, wear it!!!
Patty … so very well said. I’ve “met” a blogger who has been harassed for more than 1 year, in a very bad way by the same group of people!! There’s no way to explain these asses … I think that they don’t have a life …. and lurk in the shadows to make others’ lives “miserable” … in their view.
Reblog http://hrexach.wordpress.com/
Thanks Doc!
Yes, it’s terrible. They can really bring good people down. Just give me a heads up when someone ever comes at you. I would love to deal with them! >:)
Lots of love and hugz!
I will let you know!!