33 comments on “A trip down the rabbit hole…

  1. Pingback: Spoken Dark Poetry: PTSD | petitemagique

  2. Pingback: MEDICAL CORNER …. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder ….. PTSD! | It Is What It Is

  3. Pingback: Battling an invisible Monster… | petitemagique

    • ThankYou Patty for sharing your experience and giving those who don’t know or understand this illness the information .. as it can be such a crippling illness that Yes is invisible even to those who suffer. Everything you have written I am nodding my head Yes Yes Yes 😉 and it is actually like a sigh of relief to hear someone express the very things I experience. I did not know what was wrong me with and its believed I have likely gone through this from very young of age. It wasn’t recognised by anyone even though i did seek help for the many different problems I was having until i ended up with another illness believed to be brought on by trauma in ones life which is Graves. only then was it then recognised that i had PTSD .. I too bluff my way through life and it is very draining and I have personally found it isolates me from so many things in life including establishing and being able to maintain relationship. one reason was when i didn’t know I had this illness myself and fearfully believed at times I was going crazy. Just the sleepless nights can do that not to mention the thousand and one others symptoms one can go through daily and nightly. If you don’t understand what is happening there is very little you can offer to someone else to explain your mood or sleeplessness etc. the nightmares are truly horror and I experience something of similar nature when awake .. it can be a shadow a the smell of something footsteps behind me usually end up bad for both myself and the innocent passer by.! but there are things during the day that have set me off in panic anxiety sheer terror. I have got better over the years teaching myself to recognise triggers and contain my bad reactions .. I really empathise with you Patty and Im sorry you are someone who has been touched by such an awful terrifying illness. wishing you all the best and ease in your sleepless nights .. always beez x

      • Thank you so much for your kind words and sharing your thoughts with me.
        PTSD really can be a pain! I have found a couple of friends on here that suffer from it as well and I can relate to them very much.
        I actually find it easier to talk with people who have similar experiences rather than talking to a counselor. It is a relieve to know that you are not the only one!
        Sending you lots of love

  4. Dear Patty. Thanks for sharing this important information. You are so much right, a lot of people have no knowledge about, what is PTSD at all. They think, only soldiers can be hit from this. But no, we are many people living with this and as try to live a fair life, even it is not easy always.
    One thing, as helped me a lot, was to meditate and find a kind of inner peace that way. Not easy either, but after daily experience through maybe 3-4 weeks, it starts helping. Now I’m able to sleep more that few hours every night. Maybe I wake up several times per night, but I’m able to fall down again.
    A lot of love to you too. Tell me, if you need to talk, and we will find a possibility for this.

    • Thank you very much Irene.
      I have tried meditation and yoga as well. It does work to relax. But there are periods that nothing really helps. Just have to get through those times.
      And thank you so much for caring, that means a lot!
      Lots of love and hugz

  5. Always with you!!! PTSD is one of those conditions that seem to have no outside signs. I know what the signs are … I worked w/ plenty of patients that has this dx.
    If there is ANYTHING that I can do for you, please don’ hesitate to let me know ….
    From the heart …… ❤ … Lotsa love!!

      • I’m happy it’s better for you. You are right …. No sings outside but inside …. It’s hard.
        Sending energy, strength and love your way!

        FYI …. I have big ears and listen well. From the heart!

  6. This happened to me for months after my husband died. That was 5 years ago. Gradually mine went away, but occasionally it comes to visit for a night or two. Don’t know how I could survive if it was with me all the time like in the beginning. My hat is off to you and I hope time will bring you peace….and sleep. Love and hugs to you, my friend.

  7. I think you know I live with it too. I can really relate to catastrophisizing it’s brutal the pics I get in my mind. I do sleep not to bad but I’m drugged with meds for epilepsy. I do have nightmares. There’s a bunch of other things too, flash backs, wicked startle response, fear, anxiety,phobias and the list goes on. Sending hugs to you, I hope you can get some sleep. Somatic Experiencing (An amazing and gentle form of therapy) was life changing for me and the only kind that helped me

  8. I understand this. I have never been diagnosed with it yet I think on some levels I may fight it. You have written a very informative post. Most people do not understand PTSD and some think is is a post military service issue – which is not to diminish the fact and severity of those who fight PTSD after fighting for their country but it truly can affect anyone. Thank you for writing this. xxxxxx

  9. Patty, So heavy are your words & message. I think we all need to absorb your rabbit hole & just be there for you. –too much emotional baggage to begin, to sort, & it’s none of our business except to be steady for you whatever winds are blowing good or bad. Phil

    • Thank you Phil.
      I am fine though, I am used to it but sometimes it does annoy me because I am just tired! Lol.
      But I do think it’s very important that people learn more about PTSD. I know that a lot of people still think that you are crazy when you have PTSD and can’t function. But that’s not true. It’s not something to be ashamed of either. I know that a lot of people who have PTSD hurt themselves or even commit suicide. But you can have a pretty normal life with PTSD, just have to find something that keeps you going! It’s not easy, but it’s definitely possible. A lot of people don’t get why I write dark poetry while I have a positive nature. This is why. My mind, my memories, they are damaged. I have scars that won’t show but they’re there nevertheless. That doesn’t mean I am not happy! It just means I am more than I seem. Like a lot of other people. Some of them get judged because people just don’t understand them. So I thought I should raise some awareness. 🙂
      Lots of love and hugz

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