One of my goals for the RCC was to do another post about myself. (yikes!) But it is one of my goals, so…
Today I want to share something with you, the way I view some things. A little more about my character and where I believe in.
I strongly believe in willpower. And I have seen prove of it time after time again. People who go through the most difficult and heartbreaking things in life and still manage to survive. But in my opinion, it’s not just willpower you need…
Like many of you, I experienced some rough times in my relatively short life. I lost many people close to me and I have three chronic conditions. One is visible sometimes, two are not. One of them comes with chronic pain as well. I also suffer from PTSD, that’s one of the reasons I have sleeping problems, I have severe nightmares. Those things combined make that I want to give up sometimes. Especially when Life kicks me down again or the darkness and memories are haunting me. Times that I no longer believe things will work out. Just want to hide and lose myself in oblivion…
But I won’t. I can’t.
Because I am not allowed.
try to explain why.
I believe there is a thing attached to love. The love you share with family and close friends. From the moment someone loves you, unconditionally and true, your life no longer completely belongs to you. It also belongs to them.
My life belongs to the ones I love. To my family and friends. My heart and soul are theirs, because I am not able to love someone ‘half’. It’s all or nothing.
So I won’t give up. Ever. I am not allowed to put them through the pain of losing me. That would be the most horrible thing I could possibly do to them. They are my heart, soul and strength. And I will fight for them if I forget to fight for myself. That’s how I can hold on no matter what happens. Because of the love from the people around me…
Poem: My life belongs to you
No matter what Life will put me through
I will hold on
Just because I love you
No matter how bad I want to give up for good
I will keep fighting
Because for you, I should
No matter the pain or suffering
I will carry my burden
Even if it means I’m crawling
No matter what it takes
I will struggle
And handle the darkness and heartaches
No matter what it may cost
I will pay
Find my way back when I am lost
Because my life belongs to you
Now and forever
Your love will get me through…
Lots of love,